Hey Y'all!
Last night at our WMU meeting (Baptist Women's Missionary Union) something was etched on my spirit.
Having to deal with finding my little Mammaw dead on Christmas Day has been awfully hard. I miss her and I catch myself wanting to call her, to go over there, to make a plate of whatever I've just cooked to take to her, to look out my windows to see if her living room blinds are open, and on and on.... It is really hard when everything we've done for the last three years has revolved around Mammaw. I know she's in Heaven....I know she's home....I can get that into my head, but I've not yet been able to let my heart understand it. Early mornings and late nights are the worst as those times belonged to me and her---our time. She shared so much with me and I'm sure I'll be blogging about her many times in the near future. Please just bear with me as I find this the best way to "let it out."
Anyway...back to last night....
My friend Gina led our devotional and she talked about how she's struggling to feel like she's living in God's will right now. This past year, she opened CYGI'S in a small nearby town called Lowell, NC. It's a consignment shop and she sells jewerly, purses, etc. She said that there is almost NO profit from the store. She recently signed up to sell Mary Kay cosmetics and is hoping that this will be the turning point for her. She's also the person at our church who coordinates meals when there is a death of someone in our church for their family, calls the florist to order a flower, sends LOTS of cards to the sick, goes visiting, and is our church secretary. She doesn't get paid for the secretary position or any of the other "jobs" she has. Gina became a mama at age 16. Her son, Clay, will turn 16 in October and she has a daughter, Cydney who just turned 4. Gina said she wants to be something besides a MAMA...since everyone knows that's what she has been since 16.
We all began offering our 2 cents. And...y'all KNOW I had to add mine. Gina and I are on completely different ends of the spectrum. She began motherhood way early and my motherhood journey began way late! Even though I feel like I am going to lose my mind somedays, I wouldn't take anything for being able to be a MAMA. My reply was, "Sometimes...being MAMA is enough."
LOVE this scripture too:
Having to deal with finding my little Mammaw dead on Christmas Day has been awfully hard. I miss her and I catch myself wanting to call her, to go over there, to make a plate of whatever I've just cooked to take to her, to look out my windows to see if her living room blinds are open, and on and on.... It is really hard when everything we've done for the last three years has revolved around Mammaw. I know she's in Heaven....I know she's home....I can get that into my head, but I've not yet been able to let my heart understand it. Early mornings and late nights are the worst as those times belonged to me and her---our time. She shared so much with me and I'm sure I'll be blogging about her many times in the near future. Please just bear with me as I find this the best way to "let it out."
Anyway...back to last night....
My friend Gina led our devotional and she talked about how she's struggling to feel like she's living in God's will right now. This past year, she opened CYGI'S in a small nearby town called Lowell, NC. It's a consignment shop and she sells jewerly, purses, etc. She said that there is almost NO profit from the store. She recently signed up to sell Mary Kay cosmetics and is hoping that this will be the turning point for her. She's also the person at our church who coordinates meals when there is a death of someone in our church for their family, calls the florist to order a flower, sends LOTS of cards to the sick, goes visiting, and is our church secretary. She doesn't get paid for the secretary position or any of the other "jobs" she has. Gina became a mama at age 16. Her son, Clay, will turn 16 in October and she has a daughter, Cydney who just turned 4. Gina said she wants to be something besides a MAMA...since everyone knows that's what she has been since 16.
We all began offering our 2 cents. And...y'all KNOW I had to add mine. Gina and I are on completely different ends of the spectrum. She began motherhood way early and my motherhood journey began way late! Even though I feel like I am going to lose my mind somedays, I wouldn't take anything for being able to be a MAMA. My reply was, "Sometimes...being MAMA is enough."
LOVE this scripture too:
"Let your character be free from the love of money, being content with what you have; for He Himself has said, 'I will never desert you, nor will I ever forsake you,' so that we confidently say, “The Lord is my helper, I will not be afraid" (Hebrews 13:5-6)
There were many of us who wished for full time jobs to have something to do.
There were those of us who are retired and are content, but are quickly becoming bored.
There were those of us, though, who have decided that wherever we are, or whatever we're doing, to be content...to be happy knowing that God has us in the palm of His hand.
So today....be content if you're living in God's will. Be content with what you have, be content with where you are, be content that you're not on this journey called LIFE alone...
4 comments:
great post. It is hard to remeber to be content sometimes! I'll be praying for you, I know you are missing her!
Michelle, I KNOW what you're feeling about your mawmaw....it will not be easy! I miss my little mother so and it's only been 7 months since she went to Heaven.....was brushing my teeth yesterday with a tube of paste that was hers...started crying in the bathroom....you'll go through many emotions for sure!!
Loved the post! Yes, sometimes it's really hard to be content...I know!!
~Beth
A wonderful post! I have read several blogs lately that deal with contentment. It's hard sometimes, but I'm really working on it!!!
What a smart woman you are. I am so sorry you lost someone you love so very much. What an amazing woman she must have been to have such an impact on your life. I hope it gets a little easier soon..
I am trying to focus on being content in this stage in my life,as well..not always easy. Sometimes not even close.
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